Being Social

When I'm around other people, I can't help but be happy for the most part. I love conversations, a feeling of community and connectedness, laughing and sharing. It makes me think that humans are not meant to live separately in little boxes without saying hello on the street. But since that is how we live, we have to find communities within our big "community," places to connect not on a one-on-one level (though that is great, too), but on a group level.

I'm reading a section in "Sex at Dawn" where they talk about how it seems that our true nature as humans is helpfulness, cooperation, and support. It makes me think about those individuals who somehow decided that "every man for himself" was a better approach. How does that happen? When everyone on the planet is cooperating, living in groups that are self sustaining, supporting each other, how did a few people suddenly change and decide that was the wrong way to live? Was it something in the DNA that suddenly changed? Was it because we evolved to be able to think and analyze things? I really wish I could pinpoint it to one person and blame them for all of this disconnect in our culture. It would make me feel good, but obviously it wouldn't really change anything.

"Sex at Dawn" is making me want to live on a commune. Or at least in a co-housing situation. I think there is a co-housing building across the street from my building. I think I should check that out. I like having my own space and living alone, honestly. If it's messy, it's my mess, not someone else's. If the dishes aren't done, I have no one to blame but myself. But it is lonely. I like the idea of co-housing because often, you have your own space, but you share things with others, like community dinners, there are get togethers, lots of things are done together. I like that idea. A lot.

I'm not sure what my point is this morning. I guess I crave more of a community than I have right now. I have little communities that I am part of, but I miss the days at the Sudbury school I went to where we were a community that saw each other every day, had to work together, play together, learn to cooperate together, and learn to respect one another. I wish I had something like that in my daily life. Instead, I wake up, eat, take a shower, and go to work to sit in another box all day, staring at a computer screen, feeling like I want to die because while my work can be interesting at times, I don't think I'm suited to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day. I'm also contemplating how I can take things like my writing and make them into an income. I welcome any tips on that one!